What is Psychotherapy and How Does It Help?

There are different names and different paths of education and training for a person who provides psychotherapy (sometimes just referred to as therapy or counseling). A therapist can be a social worker, a family and/or marriage counselor, a professional counselor or other educated and trained professional. Most of these will have a license that has been issued after they have completed educational requirements, supervision by an experienced therapist, and passed a comprehensive licensing examination conducted in the State in which they will practice.

          People are sometimes hesitant to seek help for a mental health concern, however most of the stigma that was long-ago associated with psychiatry and mental health counseling seems to be gone. There can be a sense of fear with setting up the first appointment if someone has never seen a therapist. It can feel vulnerable to consider talking to a stranger about deeply personal feelings, losses, difficult memories or current stressful circumstances.

          One important thing to know is that everyone has problems or concerns that could be helped with therapy. I have observed in my practice that many people feel alone in what they have experienced or how they are feeling; however, there is not a single person who has had a life without hurts, problems, and losses. It can also be helpful to know that most therapists have seen or are still seeing a therapist themselves. It is strongly recommended during the education and mentoring process that mental health professionals seek support for their own problems and concerns. This way there will not be as many barriers to their providing support for their clients. Someone who has not worked on their own issues may not be emotionally prepared to provide support for others.

          Once you have done some research to locate a therapist (search the web, read information on their website, ask friends, ask your doctor) you can call to set up an initial visit. You should expect your therapist to help you feel comfortable and at ease with any nervousness you may have. He or she will have some forms for you to sign about treatment, insurance, etc. and will ask questions to help you identify concerns for which you are seeking treatment. If you do not feel a connection with your therapist during this visit it is ok. You may want to try another visit, or your therapist can refer you to another clinician. Hopefully this will not be a concern and you can schedule another visit to discuss your future treatment plan. You and your therapist will work together to set goals and discuss methods of treatment that will be helpful to treat your individual concerns and symptoms.

          There are numerous methods of treatment for anxiety, depression, grief, physical pain, adjustment to life changes, post traumatic stress disorder and other concerns. If your issues are outside of the scope of practice for your therapist, he or she should refer you to a specialist to help with your specific needs. Your therapist may also refer you back to your primary care provider or a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation.

          If you are considering therapy for yourself, just pick up the phone and make a call. The process should be easy and unintimidating! You should feel comfortable, accepted, and at ease during the process of getting started and continuing with therapy. Good wishes!

Gayla Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter LLC, 9/23/2019

Cleaning Out Closets

I read a book a year or so ago about how to declutter and get rid of things you don’t need. The book is called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo. One of my friends said the book is “way out there” but I read it with an open mind and took away the things that were helpful. The author says if you don’t use it, wear it, read it (or use it in some way) and it doesn’t “spark joy” then you don’t need to keep it. 

I’ve been literally and figuratively cleaning out closets in my house this weekend. I used to have difficulty parting with sentimental items. I still struggle with it just a little, but I have gotten much better. My mother is the closest person I’ve lost in my life. After her death about 4 years ago I kept a big garbage bag of her clothing, dried flowers from her funeral, things she had made. Today I parted with more of her things by reminding myself that SHE is in my heart. I remember the mom she was when I was a little girl. I remember her soft, sweet voice. I remember how much she loved my daughter. There are so many memories in my heart. And I can keep those with me wherever I go.

It felt good today to take a load of useable clothing and other items to a local agency that will ensure they are given to people in need. And to end the day at a restaurant eating pizza and French fries with my husband, my daughter and son-in-law, and my almost 16-month-old granddaughter. That time was a memory made. That time spent together is the joy!

Maybe you are holding onto things because you feel guilty, disrespectful, or sad about letting them go. Try telling yourself that the person and their memory is in your heart and that is what matters. The joy comes from memories and feelings about past experiences and losses. The joy is always in our hearts…

Gayla Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter LLC, 3-10-2018

How Our Thoughts Can Affect Our Feelings

There is a treatment commonly used by therapists called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT for short. Simply put, CBT helps people recognize unhelpful thought patterns. It’s about noticing what you are thinking instead of just thinking, thinking, thinking…

There are numerous online resources for CBT education and worksheets. I use one in my practice from the Psychology Tools website. It lists several unhelpful styles of thinking such as magnification or blowing things out of proportion, focusing more on mistakes than successes, using judgmental words with ourselves like “I should”, “I must”, or worrying about a future event we have no control over.

Try an experiment where you take a day or even an hour and observe your thoughts at regular intervals, particularly if you are feeling worried, anxious, or down. Notice what you are saying to yourself. Are you beating yourself up for something you wish you had done? Are you trying to figure out how something in the future is going to turn out, even though it’s something you cannot change or control? Are you thinking someone is upset with you although you have no evidence to indicate this is true?

If you find that you are thinking in these ways, just notice it. Don’t try to change it or “fix it”. That can be unhelpful too. Just noticing can help slow our thoughts, calm our body’s reaction to stress, and reduce unhelpful thinking patterns.

If you would like to learn more about CBT and how to use it to help slow down your anxious thoughts, contact a licensed therapist who is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

 Gayla W. Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter, LLC, 2/23/2018

Uncertainty and Anxiety

Everybody has anxiety at one time or another. This is our body’s normal state of “fight or flight” when we need to react to a situation. But for some people the symptoms of anxiety (excessive worry, difficulty concentrating, feeling on edge, sleep problems, irritability) can occur when we don’t need them to. Clients report that anxiety causes increased heart rate, shallow breathing, or an uncomfortable feeling of discomfort in the throat or chest. Anxiety can feel like dread but there often isn’t an identifiable trigger for these feelings. For some people there may be a past traumatic event they haven’t worked through or something unresolved in a relationship that is causing these symptoms. For others it might be a problem coping with uncertainty.

Some time ago I ran across an article about a link between anxiety and uncertainty. I’ve shared it with many clients and they have all said they found the information helpful and could identify that they had trouble coping with uncertainty. I recently did more research on this and found numerous online resources. Julie Beck had a recent article in The Atlantic magazine. She said people would rather get an electric shock now, than to know they may be shocked later.

I’ve talked with people who were waiting on a health diagnosis who said something like “I want to know the bad news and have a plan to address it rather than to keep waiting.” Think about the stress of waiting to find out if you got the job you interviewed for versus knowing you did (or didn’t) get the job. We want to know versus not knowing.

So, what to do about coping with uncertainty? Notice what you are thinking. Are you expecting bad news? Are you turning the situation into a catastrophe? Are you terrible at waiting? You can do some self-talk and remind yourself that you are resilient and have gotten through stressful situations before. We all have things that are uncertain every day. And we can’t predict the future. Just thinking about how you react when things are uncertain and working on more acceptance of your inability to control reactions of others, outcomes, etc. can be helpful. If you worry more than you can tolerate, contact someone who can help you with resources for coping with anxiety.

Gayla Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter, LLC 1/29/2018

3 Ways to Help Depression

1)     Exercise – This is on most every list of ways to help depression. Getting your heart rate up (and most resources say it doesn’t have to be for very long) helps you physically and mentally. If you can get outside in the sun and fresh air for a quick brisk walk, you will notice that you feel refreshed and your mind may even feel clearer. If the weather doesn’t permit outdoor activity you can walk indoors at your local mall, do some stretching at home, or dust off the treadmill or stationary bike. Don’t judge yourself if you only have 5 or 10 minutes to exercise. It counts!

2)     Interact with others – Even if you think you might be an introvert, interacting with people is a good way to boost your mood. Take the step to call someone and invite them for coffee. Join a local civic group or volunteer to help a local service organization. Join a local church or if you are already attending, look for a smaller group to join. If your health or life circumstances have you feeling isolated, contact a pastor or counselor and set up an appointment to talk. No matter your situation, there is someone who can help.

3)     Tap into your creativity – Most people have a creative side. If you’ve always wanted to play a musical instrument, call and start lessons today! If you love art, get involved with your local art gallery and sign up for a class. Learn another language. Learn sign language. Even if you are a math lover, you can find a creative way to use your skills. Consider volunteering as a tutor at a local school.

If you are depressed, then any of these 3 things may seem like a mountain you aren’t sure you can climb. Depression can be so severe that it takes away the motivation to do anything. So just do small steps. If you do more today than you did yesterday then that is progress. Don’t judge yourself and try your best. Always contact a local mental health provider if you feel your depression is so severe you are not functioning. There is help!

Gayla Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter LLC