I read a book a year or so ago about how to declutter and get rid of things you don’t need. The book is called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo. One of my friends said the book is “way out there” but I read it with an open mind and took away the things that were helpful. The author says if you don’t use it, wear it, read it (or use it in some way) and it doesn’t “spark joy” then you don’t need to keep it.

I’ve been literally and figuratively cleaning out closets in my house this weekend. I used to have difficulty parting with sentimental items. I still struggle with it just a little, but I have gotten much better. My mother is the closest person I’ve lost in my life. After her death about 4 years ago I kept a big garbage bag of her clothing, dried flowers from her funeral, things she had made. Today I parted with more of her things by reminding myself that SHE is in my heart. I remember the mom she was when I was a little girl. I remember her soft, sweet voice. I remember how much she loved my daughter. There are so many memories in my heart. And I can keep those with me wherever I go.

It felt good today to take a load of useable clothing and other items to a local agency that will ensure they are given to people in need. And to end the day at a restaurant eating pizza and French fries with my husband, my daughter and son-in-law, and my almost 16-month-old granddaughter. That time was a memory made. That time spent together is the joy!

Maybe you are holding onto things because you feel guilty, disrespectful, or sad about letting them go. Try telling yourself that the person and their memory is in your heart and that is what matters. The joy comes from memories and feelings about past experiences and losses. The joy is always in our hearts…

Gayla Partin, LISW-CP, Counseling Sumter LLC, 3-10-2018